Today I exercised and ran only 3 miles I hope tomorrow i can run 6

Today I goffed off and did basicly nothing it was relaxing but very very boring my sadnes these past few days have started go away hopefully they will stay like that.

recently I have been feeling worthless..

I am trying really hard not to fall into depression

I am feeling more and more lethargic and in the way

I am going to get my music and curl up in my bed hopefully my troubles will be washed away

Today I feel guilty for no reason like if I did some thing wrong or I did something irresponsible and its really bothering me. All I can think about right now is boot camp and how in the world I am going to get through it. The fact that I have no one to talk to about this bothers me too because I don't have a girlfriend right now. Some times I think the world does not care for me and that only god can be my silent companion. I think I am going to go to the gym and exercise now maybe that will keep my mind off the subject

tomorrow im going to my monthly training sessions so im going to enjoy my time in my home before i start begging for mercy

All I can think about recently is just about boot camp it feels like a death sentence rather than a start to something new but I don want to give up I just wish I were only going for 2weeks rather than 3 months

during my practice drills I just want to go home after the first day I wish I could stay home for an entire year because I feel really out of shape compared to the people around me

The days are winding down more and more to the point were I am going to leave my house for boot camp and the tensions in my house are getting worse because me and my sister are in the same room we are mostly fighting for domination over the television and its getting stress full

Me and Mia finally got to say goodbye before I leave for boot camp on October and it feels good knowing that I left her far on the other side of my conscious

I have been training recently and I have even taken an entire minute off of my mile run if I can take out 1 more then maybe I will be ready for camp

I am really stressed right now and I think I will type more once I am more relaxed hopefully tomorrow I will have the hole house to myself so I can unwind allot more