<- I took a picture of my new refrigerator.

I am living alone for the first time in my life I still cant believe how fast I am taking this all in. I am renting a room and it is very hot and humid here because there is no air conditioning. My new job is challenging but it definitely feels more stable but my food is very short and every day I feel like my body cant keep up with my changes. My nose has been bleeding every time I shower and I feel like fainting at work. My depression seems in control for now but I think during the holidays I will go insane, during that time I wont be able to see my family, because of work. I don't have any furniture so I am always laying on the floor If I lean on the wall my back starts hurting.

I could have dismissed how uncomfortable I am here but even my body has begun to break out pimples under all the stress and I have lost about 15pounds. For now all I have to eat is ramen soup and soda NOTHING else except water. Luckily I will be getting paid again in 3 days but I will need to be very careful with my money.

I notice my way of writing is more rushed and formal I hate it I think its because I am so stressed. Maybe once I can buy good furniture like a chair or a desk for my laptop I can let go of all my tension...

I feel like i need a hug from someone...

I feel like I don't make sense even to myself anymore...

what in the world am i doing here? :'(

maybe I just need sleep... at least there I am happy...