School here is very lonely nobody talks to each other and studying is pretty much all I do. The only thing I liked so far are the free computers and the peaceful environment it brings. I have made acquaintances with people here but I still don't have any friends. My depression is still under wraps for now but I don't think I can hold it back any longer. I only hope god can help me out because I fell like I am doomed to live alone forever...

I will lose power to my home in a few seconds....
so I hope to get back on in 4 days...

The first 2 weeks of college have really been a wake up call to me. Every time I get home I am tired and my head hurts I want to work out on my physical well being but I just don't have the right motivation to do it. Plus it would not make any difference if I ate all the greasy food my mom makes. Well today is friday and I dont have school today but I can't seem to relax in my own computer chair. I feel claustrophobic and I also feel like I am being watched..... Or maybe I am just crazy I am not sure. I have been trying to talk to some of the Asian girls at my school but they seem too reserved. Next term I am definitely taking Japanese I can't fool around with learning the language anymore. So far I only know what sounds their characters makes. My depression crosses my mind now and again but thankfully it has not not lasted more than 15muinites. A job right now would be great but I dont see how that could ever work with my intensive learning. I guess you could say I am the edge of greatness and defeat.

recently I have been having strong urges for the materialistic things in life I know it is not a good thing to think about but i cant really help myself