my depression is getting bad and I miss my parents

but I need to stay strong and find a way to live here.

My life will only be wasted in my old room if I go back.

sometimes I wonder what I am doing with my life

I feel like when I am older I will be very angry for wasting my youth.

I know if someone loved me this felling I have would go away

I wish I could hold a girl in my arms and call her mine

I need someone to show me that they care that I am alive...

Its a sad gut wrenching lonely felling I know my family cant lift.

I can feel it on my chest like im drowning in my own sad emotions

as if the world turned dark and no matter how much i swam upward I could never surface for air.

I know its not correct of me to desire it but sometimes I feel like heaven with my god is the only place I belong. As an innocent being in my past none of these stupid ideas ever bothered me all I cared about was playing outside feeling the warm earth under my feet.

I hope my desires for life after death are not false.

this world would be very scary without it.

I wonder sometimes if my feelings trully ever reach my god...

mabye he has grown tired hearing me cry over them...