I finally broke down after 6 months
My sister called me (I think she was holding back crying)
she wanted me to come home.
I told her I would leave on November the 15th so now I am just passing time here trying to figure out what I am going to do next when I get there. I have thoght of going back a couple of times but now that I learned how serious life was about a week ago all I can do is think of is how I will spend my last youthful years to their fullest. I think its about time I find a wife I feel ready in both my mind and body. But I dont plan in marrying until age 24 (right now im 20) hopefully it works out.

I am going to miss everyone I met here, they helped me learn the lesson I needed.
I hope it leaves a deep scar in my mind so I will never forget it. Weather I see it or not my existince and understanding of the world around me is a miricle itself. I must live my life too its fullest because its too short and precious to waste crying over the pain.

My sister and my family need me, I cant wait to go home.